"I Thought You Loved Me too?": Outcomes of Discrepant Involvement in Romantic Relationships

Abstract

As romantic relationships begin and evolve, it is sometimes the case that partners are discrepant in their attraction to, love for, and commitment to each other. Data were collected from 460 undergraduates who completed a 40 item Internet survey on the various types of discrepancies and outcomes for their respective relationships. Results revealed that half of participants had been in a discrepant relationship in which they were more attracted to, in love with, and committed to their partner and half were less attracted, in love and committed than a partner in a current or past relationship. Men were significantly more likely than women to report that they had been in a discrepant relationship in which they were more in love with their partner. Being more attracted and less attracted, in love with, and committed was positively associated with infidelity. Depression was positively associated with being more or less attracted to, in love with and committed. Alcohol/drug use was positively associated with being more attracted and in love with a partner, as well as being less attracted and committed to a partner. Of discrepant relationships that ended, 45% were by the respondent, 20% mutually, and 11% by the partner. Of discrepant relationships that continued, 44% of the respondents reported that the discrepancies did not matter and that the respondents were happy despite the discrepancies.